| VM
270 |
Ice
Scraping.WMV |
| VM
270 |
Christmasblessings.pps |
VM
269
Charles Fink |
An Authentic
Canadian Woman! {although this one has circulated before, I will
have to include it - as Chuck's first}
Three men were sitting together bragging about
how they had set their new wives straight on their duties:
The first man had married a woman from Indiana
and bragged that he had told his wife she was going to do all
the dishes and house cleaning that needed done at their house.
He said that it took a couple days but on the third day he came
home to a clean house and the dishes were all washed and put away.
The second man had married a woman from the West
Indies and had given his wife orders that she was to do all the
cleaning, dishes, and cooking. He told them that the first day
he didn't see any results, but the next day it was better. By
the third day, his house was clean, the dishes were done, and
he had a huge dinner on the table.
The third man had married a Canadian girl. He
boasted that he told her his house was to be cleaned, dishes washed,
the cooking done and laundry washed. On the first day he didn't
see anything and the second day he didn't see anything but by
the third day some of the swelling had gone down so he could see
a little out of his left eye.
Gotta love Canadian Women!
|
VM
269
Joe Lecour |
Chocolate
Math
YOUR AGE BY CHOCOLATE MATH ... This is pretty neat.
DON'T CHEAT BY SCROLLING
DOWN FIRST!
It takes less than a minute....... Work this out
as you read.
Be sure you don't read the bottom until you've
worked it out! it's fun.
1. First of all, pick the number of times a week
that you would like to have chocolate.... (more than once but
less than 10)
2. Multiply this number by 2 (Just to be bold)
3. Add 5. (for Sunday)
4. Multiply it by 50, I'll wait while you get
the calculator................
5. If you have already had your birthday this
year add 1754.... If you haven't, add 1753..
6.. Now subtract the four digit year that you
were born. You should have a three digit number .. The first digit
of this was your original number (i.e., how many times you want
to have chocolate each week).
The next two numbers are.....
YOUR AGE! (Oh YES, it is!!!!!)
THIS IS THE ONLY YEAR (2004) IT WILL EVER WORK,
SO SPREAD IT AROUND WHILE IT LASTS
|
|
VM 269
Harvey and Gloria Winn |
Subject:
God can use you
The next time you feel like GOD can't use you,
just remember...
Noah was a drunk
Abraham was too old
Isaac was a daydreamer
Jacob was a liar
Leah was ugly
Joseph was abused
Moses had a stuttering problem
Gideon was afraid
Samson had long hair and was a womanizer
Rahab was a prostitute
Jeremiah and Timothy were too young
David had an affair and was a murderer
Elijah was suicidal
Isaiah preached naked
Jonah ran from God
Naomi was a widow
Job went bankrupt
John the Baptist ate bugs
Peter denied Christ
The Disciples fell asleep while praying
Martha worried about everything
The Samaritan woman was divorced, more than once
Zaccheus was too small
Paul was too religious
Timothy had an ulcer...AND
Lazarus was dead!
No more excuses now. God can use you to your full
potential.
Besides you aren't the message, you are just the messenger.
Share this with a friend or two.
In and out of the Circle of God's love, God's waiting to use your
full potential.
|
VM
269
Fr. Lindsay Harrison |
UnWhite
Polar Bears |
VM
269
Eleanor Sunstrum |
TWINKIES
& ROOT BEER
A little boy wanted to meet God. He knew it was
a long trip to where God lived, so he packed his suitcase with
Twinkies and a six-pack of root beer and he started his journey.
When he had gone about three blocks, he met an old man. He was
sitting in the park just staring at some pigeons. The boy sat
down next to him and opened his suitcase. He was about to take
a drink from his root beer when he noticed that the old man looked
hungry, so he offered him a Twinkie. The old man gratefully accepted
it and smiled at him. His smile was so pleasant that the boy wanted
to see it again, so he offered him a root beer. Again, he smiled
at him. The boy was delighted! They sat there all afternoon eating
and smiling, but they never said a word. As it grew dark, the
boy realized how tired he was and he got up to leave, but before
he had gone more than a few steps, he turned around, ran back
to the old man, and gave him a hug. The old man gave him his biggest
smile ever. When the boy opened the door to his own house a short
time later, his mother was surprised by the look of joy on his
face. She asked him, "What did you do today that made you
so happy?" He replied, "I had lunch with God."
But before his mother could respond, he added, "You know
what?" "He's got the most beautiful smile I've ever
seen!" Meanwhile, the old man, also radiant with joy, returned
to his home. His son was stunned by the look of peace on his face
and he asked, "Dad, what did you do today that made you so
happy?" He replied, "I ate Twinkies in the park with
God." However, before his son responded, he added, "You
know, he's much younger than I expected." Too often we underestimate
the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an
honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which
have the potential to turn a life around. People come into our
lives for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. Embrace all equally!
Have lunch with God! And ...... Thanks for touching
my life. Wanna Twinkie???? (Remember, the problems ahead of you
are never as great as the Power behind you)
|
VM
268
Ted and Joanne Sabourin |
My
cup has overflowed...

I've never made a fortune, and it's probably too late now.
But I don't worry about that much, I'm happy anyhow.

And as I go along life's way,
I'm reaping better than I sowed.
I'm drinking from my saucer,
'Cause my cup has overflowed.
Haven't got a lot of riches,
and sometimes the going's tough.
But I've got loving ones all around me,
and that makes me rich enough.
I thank God for his blessings,
and the mercies He's bestowed.
I'm drinking from my saucer,
'Cause my cup has overflowed.
I remember times when things went
wrong,
My faith wore somewhat thin.
But all at once the dark clouds broke,
and the sun peeped through again.
So Lord, help me not to gripe,
about the tough rows I have hoed.
I'm drinking from my saucer,
'Cause my cup has overflowed.
If God gives me strength and courage,
When the way grows steep and rough.
I'll not ask for other blessings,
I'm already blessed enough.

And may I never be too busy,
to help others bear their loads.
Then I'll keep drinking from my saucer,
'Cause my cup has overflowed.
When I think of how many people
in this world have it worse than I do.

I realize just how lucky most of
us really are.
Don't be too busy today...Share
this inspiring message with friends and family.

Love never gives up, never loses
faith, is always hopeful, and endures
GOD BLESS YOU , EVERY ONE !
|
VM
267
Fr. John Vandenakker |
Video
Clip |
VM
266
Fr Lindsay Harrison |
A Japanese
Puzzle
This one is strictly for fun...and is a real brain
tease.
AFTER reading these instructions go to:
http://www.gsart.com.br/midia/riverIQGame.swf
The instructions for the puzzle are in Japanese.
I'll translate for you (!)
Everybody has to cross the river. The following
rules apply:
A maximum of 2 persons can go on the raft at a
time. The father can not stay with any of the daughters without
the mother's presence. The mother can not stay with any of the
sons without their father's presence.
The prisoner can not stay with anyone without
the policeman's presence.
Only the Father, the Mother and the Policeman
can operate the raft.
To Start click on the big blue circle on the lower
right.
To move a person click on his or her figure.
To move the raft click on the red balls.
Apparently this is an IQ test given to employees
in Japan.
Results
If you succeed in:
4 minutes or less: You are a Genius
6 minutes or less: You are exceptionally intelligent
10 minutes or less: You are very intelligent
20 minutes or less: You are average
25 minutes or less: You are a bit slow
30 minutes or more: You are terrible and you should
go to work in Europe...
Results at the rectory:
The person who sent it to monsignor has been at
it for 3 days.
Monsignor is still working on it.
I got it in under 20 minutes.
A 95 year old friend of monsignor's, a retired
woman teacher, got it in about 1 to 2 minutes!
Fr. Lindsay
|
| VM
265 |
God's Boxes
I have in my hands two boxes,
Which God gave me to hold,
He said, "Put all your sorrows in the black box,
And all your joys in the gold."
I heeded His words, and in the two boxes,
Both my joys and sorrows I stored,
But though the gold became heavier each day,
The black was as light as before.
With curiosity, I opened the black,
I wanted to find out why,
And I saw, in the base of the box, a hole,
Which my sorrows had fallen out by.
I showed the hole to God, and mused,
"I wonder where my sorrows could be!"
He smiled a gentle smile and said,
"My child, they're all here with me."
I asked God, why He gave me the boxes,
Why the gold and the black with the hole?
"My child, the gold is for you to count your blessings,
The black is for you to let go"
We should consider all of our friends a blessing.
Say a prayer for a friend today just because you are thinking
of them and that they are a joy in your life.
A ball is a circle, no beginning, no end.
It keeps us together like our Circle of Friends.
But the treasure inside for you to see,
Is the treasure of friendship you've granted to
me.
|
VM
264
Dan Gutoskie |
Once upon
a time, a perfect man and a perfect woman met. After a perfect
courtship, they had a perfect wedding. Their life together was,
of course, perfect.
One snowy, stormy Christmas Eve, this perfect
couple was driving their perfect car along a winding road, when
they noticed someone at the side of the road in distress.
Being the perfect couple, they stopped to help.
There stood Santa Claus with a huge bundle of toys. Not wanting
to disappoint any children on the eve of Christmas, the perfect
couple loaded Santa and his toys into their vehicle. Soon they
were driving along delivering the toys.
Unfortunately, the driving conditions deteriorated
and the perfect couple and Santa Claus had an accident.
Only one survived the accident.
Question: Who was the survivor????????????
(Scroll down for the answer. Trust me, it's worth
it!)
Answer: The perfect woman survived. She's the
only one who really existed in the first place.
Everyone knows there is no Santa Claus and there
is no such thing as a perfect man. Women stop reading here, that
is the end of the joke.
Men keep scrolling.
So, if there is no perfect man and no Santa Claus
the woman must have been driving. This explains why there was
a car accident.
Men keep scrolling.
By the way, if you're a woman and you're still
reading, this illustrates another point: Women NEVER listen!
KIDS: Sr. Kathleen - a school principal - drove
by a scene one wintery day where she saw two students fighting.
She honked the horn. One of the boys - his attention caught -
looked up and waved...as he held the other boy’s face in the snow! |
VM
263
Linda Ganly |
Ruth went
to her mail box and there was only one letter. She picked it up
and looked at it before opening, but then she looked at the envelope
again. There was no stamp, no postmark, only her name and address.
She read the letter:
Dear Ruth:
I'm going to be in your neighborhood Saturday afternoon and I'd
like to stop by for a visit.
Love Always, Jesus
Her hands were shaking as she placed the letter
on the table. "Why would the Lord want to visit me? I'm nobody
special. I don't have anything to offer." With that thought,
Ruth remembered her empty kitchen cabinets. "Oh my goodness,
I really don't have anything to offer. I'll have to run down to
the store and buy something for dinner." She reached for
her purse and counted out its contents. Five dollars and forty
cents. "Well, I can get some bread and cold cuts, at least."
She threw on her coat and hurried out the door. A loaf of French
bread, a half pound of sliced turkey, and a carton of milk, leaving
Ruth with grand total twelve cents to last her until Monday. Nonetheless,
she felt good as she headed home, her meager offerings tucked
under her arm.
"Hey lady, can you help us, lady?" Ruth
had been so absorbed in her dinner plans, she hadn't even noticed
two figures huddled in the alleyway. A man and a woman, both of
them dressed in little more than rags "Look lady, I ain't
got a job, ya know, and my wife and I have been living out here
on the street, and, well, now it's getting cold and we're getting
kinda hungry and, well, if you could help us. Lady, we'd really
appreciate it."
Ruth looked at them both. They were dirty, they
smelled bad and frankly, she was certain that they could get some
kind of work if they really wanted to. "Sir, I'd like to
help you, but I'm a poor woman myself. All I have is a few cold
cuts and some bread, and I'm having an important guest for dinner
tonight and I was planning on serving that to Him." "Yeah,
well, okay lady, I understand. Thanks anyway." The man put
his arm around the woman's shoulders, turned and headed back into
the alley.
As she watched them leave, Ruth felt a familiar
twinge in her heart. "Sir, wait!" The couple stopped
and turned as she ran down the alley after them. "Look, why
don't you take this food. I'll figure out something else to serve
my guest." She handed the man her grocery bag. "Thank
you lady. Thank you very much!" "Yes, thank you!"
It was the man's wife, and Ruth could see now that she was shivering.
"You know, I've got another coat at home. Here, why don't
you take this one." Ruth unbuttoned her jacket and slipped
it over the woman's shoulders. Then smiling, she turned and walked
back to the street ...without her coat and with nothing to serve
her guest. "Thank you lady! Thank you very much!"
Ruth was chilled by the time she reached her front
door, and worried too. The Lord was coming to visit and she didn't
have anything to offer Him. She fumbled through her purse for
the door key. But as she did, she noticed another envelope in
her mailbox. "That's odd. The mailman doesn't usually come
twice in one day." She took the envelope out of the box and
opened it.
Dear Ruth:
It was so good to see you again. Thank you for the lovely meal.
And thank you, too, for the beautiful coat.
Love Always Jesus
The air was still cold, but even without her
coat, Ruth no longer noticed. |
VM
262
Harvey and Gloria Winn
& Michel Legault |
From one
pumpkin to another!!!!!!!
A woman was asked by a coworker, "What is
it like to be a Christian?"
The coworker replied, "It is like being a
pumpkin." God picks you from the patch, brings you in, and
washes all the dirt off of you. Then He cuts off the top and scoops
out all the yucky stuff. He removes the seeds of doubt, hate,
and greed. Then He carves you a new smiling face and puts His
light inside of you to shine for all the world to see." This
was passed on to me by another pumpkin. Now it's your turn to
pass it to another pumpkin. I liked this enough to send it to
all the pumpkins in my patch.
|
VM
261
Bernie & Denise
Beauchamp |
A pregnant
woman gets into a car accident and falls into a deep coma.
Asleep for nearly six months, she wakes up and
sees that she is no longer pregnant. Frantically, she asks the
doctor about her baby.
The doctor replies, "Ma'am, you had twins,
a boy and a girl.
The babies are fine.
Your brother came in and named them."
The woman thinks to herself, "Oh no, not
my brother -- he's an idiot!"
Expecting the worst, she asks the doctor, "Well,
what's the girl's name?"
"Denise," the doctor says.
The new mother thinks, "Wow, that's not a
bad name! Guess I was wrong about my brother."
"So, what's the boy's name then?" the
mother asks.
"Denephew" replies the Doctor.
|
| VM
260 |
What
goes around, comes around!!!
Lesson for today: Think before
you do bad things.
|
VM
259
Ted and Joanne Sabourin |

|
| VM
256 |
See one
of Fr Bob's funniest activities Top_Thrill_Dragster.pps |
| VM
255 |
Money
It can buy a house / But not a home
It can buy a clock / But not time
It can buy you a position / But not respect
It can buy you a bed / But not sleep
It can buy you a book / But not knowledge
It can buy you medicine / But not health
It can buy you blood / But not life
So you see money isn't everything
And it often causes pain and suffering
I tell you this because I am your friend
And as your friend I want to
Take away your pain and suffering!!
So
Send me all your money
And I will suffer for you!
Cash only please !!..!!
HOW TO STAY SAFE!
How to stay safe in the world today.
Consider the following:
1. Avoid riding in automobiles. They are responsible
for 20% of all fatal accidents.
2. Do not stay at home because 17% of all accidents occur in
the home.
3. Avoid walking on streets or sidewalks because 14% of all
accidents occur to pedestrians.
4. Avoid traveling by air, rail or water because 16% of all
accidents involve these forms of transportation.
5. Of the remaining 33%, 32% of all deaths occur in hospitals.
So, avoid hospitals.
6. You will be pleased to know that only .001% of all deaths
occur in worship services in church, and these are usually related
to previous physical disorders. Therefore, logic tells us that
the safest place for you to be, at any given time, is in church.
Bible study is safe too. The percentage of deaths during Bible
study is even less.
For SAFETY SAKE - Attend church and Bible study.
It could save your life and maybe more.
Stop Light
A man is being tailgated by a stressed-out woman
on a busy Boulevard. Suddenly, the light turns yellow, just in
front of him. He does the honest thing, and stops at the crosswalk,
even though he could have beaten the red light by accelerating
through the intersection. The woman tailgating him hits the roof,
and the horn, screaming in frustration and indicates he is number
one with her finger as she misses her chance to get through the
intersection with him.
As she is still in mid-rant, she hears a tap on
her window and looks up into the face of a very serious police
officer. The officer orders her to exit her car with her hands
up. He takes her to the police station where she is searched,
fingerprinted, photographed, and placed in a cell.
After a couple of hours, a policeman approaches
the cell and opens the door. She is escorted back to the booking
desk where the arresting officer is waiting with her personal
effects. He says, “I’m very sorry for this mistake. You see, I
pulled up behind your car while you were blowing your horn, flipping
the guy off in front of you, and cussing a blue streak at him.
I noticed the ‘Choose Life’ license plate holder, the ‘What Would
Jesus Do?’ bumper sticker, the ‘Follow Me to Sunday School’ bumper
sticker, and the chrome plated Christian fish emblem on the trunk.”
“Naturally, I assumed you had stolen the car.”

A MAN died and went to heaven. As he stood
in front of St. Peter at the Pearly Gates, he saw a huge wall
of clocks behind him.
He asked, "What are all those clocks?"
St. Peter answered, "Those are lie-clocks.
Everyone on Earth has one and every time you lie, the hands on
your clock move."
"Oh," said the man. "Whose clock
is that?"
"That's Nelson Mandela's. The hands have
seldom moved," said St. Peter.
"Incredible," said the man. "And
whose clock is that one?"
St. Peter responded, "That's Abraham Lincoln's
clock. The hands moved twice, telling us that Abe told only 2
lies in his entire life." "Where's Dalton McGuinty's
clock?" asked the man.
"McGuinty's clock is in Jesus' office,"
said St. Peter. "He's using it as a ceiling fan."
THE LORD'S BASEBALL GAME
Freddy and the Lord stood by to observe a baseball
game. The Lord's team was playing Satan's team. The Lord's team
was at bat, the score was tied zero to zero, and it was the bottom
of the 9th inning with two outs. They continued to watch as a
batter stepped up to the plate named 'Love.'
Love swung at the first pitch and hit a single,
because "Love never fails."
The next batter was named Faith, who also got a single because
Faith works with Love.
The next batter up was named Godly Wisdom.
Satan wound up and threw the first pitch.
Godly Wisdom looked it over and let it pass:
Ball one. Three more pitches and Godly Wisdom
walked because he never swings at what Satan throws.
The bases were now loaded. The Lord then turned to Freddy and
told him He was now going to bring in His star
player. Up to the plate stepped Grace. Freddy
said, "He sure doesn't look like much!" Satan's whole
team relaxed when they saw Grace. Thinking he
had won the game, Satan wound up and fired his first pitch. To
the shock of everyone, Grace hit the ball harder
than anyone had ever seen! But Satan was not worried; his center
fielder let very few get by.

He went up for the ball, but it went right through his glove,
hit him on the head and sent him crashing on the ground;

the roaring crowds went wild as the ball

continued over the fence . . . for a home run!
The Lord's team w n!

The Lord then asked Freddy if he knew why Love,
Faith and Godly Wisdom could get on base but couldn't
win the game. Freddy answered that he didn't know why. The Lord
explained, "If your love, faith and wisdom had won the game,
you would think you had done it by yourself. Love, Faith
and Wisdom will get you on base but only My
Grace can get you Home: 'For by Grace
are you saved, it is a gift of God; not of works, lest any man
should boast."
Psalm 84:11, "For the Lord God is a sun and
shield; the Lord will give grace and glory; no
good thing will He withhold from those who walk uprightly."
|
This man is
walking the World for God.
Say a prayer then pass him on to bless others. This is really
interesting how someone did this: He's walking around the
world - via e-mail!!
{now folks - we are all against forwarding emails, and KNOW
that they are caused for creating too much email traffic
... } so here is my suggestion: do not forward this to everybody
on your email list but - when you are going to send an email
- include him with your own little message ... and i challenge
you - that if you don't have time to say a prayer - then
do not send him... WAIT! |
Manitoba Security
System
|
VM
255
Gloria Winn |
#6338 From:
Gloria Winn
This is the school break week in Saskatchewan
.... so here's another angle on students and parents and teachers
....
MESSAGE:
This is the answering machine message the Pacific Palisades High
School staff voted to record on their school telephone answering
system, last year. It is too good not to review again, and too
bad they couldn't actually use it.
It came about because they implemented a policy
requiring students and parents to be responsible for their children's
absences and missing homework. The parents sued the school and
teachers, because they wanted their children's failing grades
changed to passing grades, even though those children were absent
15 to 30 times during the semester and did not complete enough
school work to pass their classes.
So, this was unanimously voted by the office staff
to be the actual answering machine message for the school"
Hello!
You have reached the automated answering service of your school.
In order to assist you in connecting to the right
staff member, please listen to all your options before making
a selection:
- To lie about why your child is absent - Press 1
- To make excuses for why your child did not do his work - Press
2
- To complain about what we do - Press 3
- To cuss out staff members - Press 4
- To ask why you didn't get information that was already enclosed
in your newsletter and several flyers mailed to you - Press 5
- If you want us to raise your child - Press 6
- If you want to reach out and touch, slap or hit someone - Press
7
- To request another teacher for the third time this year - Press
8
- To complain about bus transportation - Press 9
- To complain about school lunches - Press 0
- If you realize this is the real world and your child must be
accountable and responsible for his or her own behavior, class
work and homework, and that it's not the teachers' fault for your
child(ren)'s lack of effort, hang up and have a nice day.
*** BUMPER SNICKERS ***
A "jiffy" is an actual unit of time
for 1/100th of a second.
Los Angeles' full name is "El Pueblo de Nuestra
Senora la Reina de los Angeles de Porciuncula"
Thank God for Children Saying Grace...
Last week I took my children to a restaurant.
My six-year-old son asked if he could say grace. As we bowed our
heads he said, "God is good, God is great. Thank you for
the food, and I would even thank you more if Mom gets us ice cream
for dessert. And Liberty and justice for all! Amen!"
Along with the laughter from the other customers
nearby I heard a woman remark, "That's what's wrong with
this country. Kids today don't even know how to pray. Asking God
for ice-cream! Why, I never!" Hearing this, my son burst
into tears and asked me, "Did I do it wrong? Is God mad at
me?"
As I held him and assured him that he had done
a terrific job and God was certainly not mad at him, an elderly
gentleman approached the table. He winked at my son and said,
"I happen to know that God thought that was a great prayer.
"Really?" my son asked. "Cross
my heart," the man replied. Then in a theatrical whisper
he added (indicating the woman whose remark had started this whole
thing), "Too bad she never asks God for ice cream. A little
ice cream is good for the soul sometimes."
Naturally, I bought my kids ice cream at the end
of the meal. My son stared at his for a moment and then did something
I will remember the rest of my life. He picked up his sundae and
without a word, walked over and placed it in front of the woman.
With a big smile he told her, "Here, this
is for you. Ice cream is good for the soul sometimes; and my soul
is good already."
The End.
I loved this story . Sometimes we all need some
ice cream. I hope God sends you some Ice Cream today.
Try this! While sitting at your desk, lift
your right foot off the floor and make clockwise circles. Now, while
doing this, draw the number "6" in the air with your right
hand.
Your foot will change direction!
|
| VM
255 |
To my brother
Jack Egan:
-----Original Message-----From: Doug Lambe
#6290:The Pope and the Leafs fan
On a tour of Florida, the Pope took a couple of
days off to visit the coast for some sight seeing. He was cruising
along the beach in the Pope mobile when there was a frantic commotion
just off shore. A helpless man, wearing a Toronto Maple Leafs
jersey, was struggling frantically to free himself from the jaws
of a 25-foot shark. As the Pope watched, horrified, a speedboat
came racing up with three men, all wearing Ottawa Senators jerseys,
aboard. One quickly fired a harpoon into the shark's side. The
other two reached out and pulled the bleeding, semiconscious Leafs
fan from the water. Then using baseball bats, the three heroes
beat the shark to death and hauled it into the boat also.
Immediately the Pope shouted and summoned them to the beach. I
give you my blessing for your brave actions," he told them.
"I heard that there was some bitter hatred between Sens and
Leaf fans, but now I have seen with my own eyes that this is not
the truth."
As the Pope drove off, the harpooner asked his buddies "Who
was that?"
"It was the Pope, " one replied. "He
is in direct contact with God and has access to all of God's wisdom."
"Well," the harpooner said, "he
may have access to God's wisdom, but he doesn't know much about
shark fishing... how's the bait holding up?"
#2890 - Three clergy A Catholic priest, a
Protestant minister, and a Jewish rabbi were discussing when life
begins.
"Life begins," said the priest, "at the moment
of fertilization. That is when God instills the spark of life
into the fetus."
"We believe," said the minister, "that life begins
at birth, because that is when the baby becomes an individual
and is capable of making its own decisions and must learn about
sin."
"You've both got it wrong," said the rabbi. "Life
begins when the children have graduated from college and moved
out of the house!"
#2963 - B&W For older folks only - (Under
40, you won't understand)
You could hardly see for all the snow, Spread
the rabbit ears as far as they go Pull a chair up to the TV set,
"Good night, David; Good night, Chet" Dependin' on the
channel you tuned You got Rob and Laura - or Ward and June It
felt so good, felt so right Life looked better in black and white
I Love Lucy, The Real McCoys Dennis the Menace, the Cleaver boys
Rawhide, Gunsmoke, Wagon Train Superman, Lois Lane Father Knows
Best, Patty Duke Rin Tin Tin and Lassie too, Donna Reed on Thursday
night Life looked better in black and white I wanna go back to
black and white Everything always turned out right Simple people,
simple lives Good guys always won the fights Now nothin's the
way it seems In living color or on the screen I wanna go back
to black and white.. In God they trusted, in bed they slept A
promise made was a promise kept They never cussed or broke their
vows They'd never make the network now But if I could, I'd rather
be In a TV town in the '50s It felt so good, felt so right Life
looked better in black and white.. I'd trade all the channels
on the satellite If I could just turn back the clock tonight To
when everybody knew wrong from right. Life was better in black
and white.
#2953 Satan's Agenda
Satan called a worldwide convention of demons.
In his opening address he said, "We can't keep Christians
from going to church." "We can't keep them from reading
their Bibles and knowing the truth." "We can't even
keep them from forming an intimate relationship with their savior."
"Once they gain that connection with Jesus, our power over
them is broken." "So let them go to their churches;
let them have their covered dish dinners, but steal their time,
so they don't have time to develop a relationship with Jesus Christ."
"This is what I want you to do", said the devil: "Distract
them from gaining hold of their Savior and maintaining that vital
connection throughout their day!" "How shall we do this?"
his demons shouted. "Keep them busy in the nonessentials
of life and invent innumerable schemes to occupy their minds,"
he answered. "Tempt them to spend, spend, spend, and borrow,
borrow, borrow." "Persuade the wives to go to work for
long hours and the husbands to work 6-7 days each week, 10-12
hours a day, so they can afford their empty lifestyles."
"Keep them from spending time with their children."
"As their families fragment, soon, their homes will offer
no escape from the pressures of work!" "Over-stimulate
their minds so that they cannot hear that still, small voice."
"Entice them to play the radio or cassette player whenever
they drive." "To keep the TV, VCR, CDs and their PCs
going constantly in their home and see to it that every store
and restaurant in the world plays non-biblical music constantly."
"This will jam their minds and break that union with Christ."
"Fill the coffee tables with magazines and newspapers."
"Pound their minds with the news 24 hours a day." "Invade
their driving moments with billboards." "Flood their
mailboxes with junk mail, mail order catalogs, sweepstakes, and
every kind of newsletter and promotional offering free products,
services and false hopes." "Keep skinny, beautiful models
on the magazines and TV so their husbands will believe that outward
beauty is what's important, and they'll become dissatisfied with
their wives." "Keep the wives too tired to love their
husbands at night." "Give them headaches too!"
"If they don't give their husbands the love they need, they
will begin to look elsewhere." "That will fragment their
families quickly!" "Give them Santa Claus to distract
them from teaching their children the real meaning of Christmas."
"Give them an Easter bunny so they won't talk about his resurrection
and power over sin and death." "Even in their recreation,
let them be excessive." "Have them return from their
recreation exhausted." "Keep them too busy to go out
in nature and reflect on God's creation." "Send them
to amusement parks, sporting events, plays, concerts, and movies
instead." "Keep them busy, busy, busy!" "And
when they meet for spiritual fellowship, involve them in gossip
and small talk so that they leave with troubled consciences."
"Crowd their lives with so many good causes they have no
time to seek power from Jesus." "Soon they will be working
in their own strength, sacrificing their health and family for
the good of the cause." "It will work!" "It
will work!" It was quite a plan! The demons went eagerly
to their assignments causing Christians everywhere to get more
busy and more rushed, going there and there. Having little time
for their God or their families. Having no time to tell others
about the power of Jesus to change lives. I guess the question
is, has the devil been successful at his scheme? You be the judge!
Does "busy" mean: B-eing U-nder Satan's Y-oke? Please
pass this on, if you aren't too BUSY! |
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